Some Tips for figuring out your routine
Accept (or be like me and at least ‘try’ to accept) that things change, and that the world won’t end when it does. When one (or both!) of my kids wake up early, my heart sinks. Especially if I’ve just say down to a hot cup of tea. I have to take big deep breaths, to help me ‘release’ the frustration I feel, and I remind myself that they are my babies and they need their mama. This helps a lot. In the early days, I had to often pick which little one to leave to cry during moments of the day, because I only have 2 hands and physically can’t feed a baby, change a nappy & prevent the entire bottle of powder from being shaken all over the carpet. Also accept that there aren’t any more ‘lie ins’ in the morning, unless you wake up at 2am and then have a ‘lie in’ from then till 5am ;) I’ve found the mornings that I don’t get up earlier than my kids, and if they are the ones to wake me up from my sleep…then I am a far grumpier and irritable person than the days I wake up intentionally earlier. Even if it’s just 20 mins earlier to have a cup of tea and let my brain log on for the day.
Decide on your priorities as a Mum and also a person. I decided very early on what my priorities were when it came to my kids. For me, I want them to eat the best food (this means I have to prepare it), I like a clean & tidy house (this means I am always picking up after them even though I have an amazing full time helper…the house is big and two kids make double the work…and for me, I can’t relax or function if things are chaotic. So this is a choice I make, to run around like a madwomen because at least when and if I get that cup of tea, I can enjoy it in a tidy space). I also have to be able to do something for myself, and this is my business. This means I need my kids to be on a schedule that gives me pockets of time to focus on this (ie my kids need to be in bed by 6ish pm and they need to be staying there until at least 6am…#hellosleeptraining which has allowed this to be a reality). My choice to breastfeed as long as I have has also meant I wasn’t really able to be away from Aaron for a good long time. But it wasn’t for that long, and it feels like I’ve blinked and here we are.
It’s either a good morning or a good afternoon. This was a wonderful saying that my friend Sophie told me in the very few weeks. She said she would focus on either having a good morning or a good afternoon, because it very rarely was every a good ‘day’. But, this means if the morning has been a dog show, the afternoon can only get better!
Be intentional with your free moments. Use them to focus on the things that leave you feeling rested/recharged. If this is scrolling through Instagram, that’s fine! If this is taking a quick shower, do it! Find something that’s just for you at least once a day, and be selfish with that time. For me, its the hour or so over lunch when both kids are sleeping. I try not to organise anything over that time, I don’t see friends, I don’t go anywhere, because I need that time to mentally prepare for the rest of the day.
Love on your kids. Kiss them, hug them, hold them, even if you feel like you are about to explode with frustration. I’ve found nothing makes me feel happier than my kids giggling because of something I have done. So in those moments where I feel like I just can’t parent (and there are lots, #justbeingreal) I take a walk outside around the house (because 30 more seconds of crying/winging won’t make a difference), take some deep breaths, and then I grab one (or both!) of my kids for a tight hug, put on some crazy music and we dance. This solves most things. And if that doesn’t work, snacks generally do the trick (always have some biltong on hand for these moments!).
It’s okay to live your life according to a nap schedule. This doesn’t work for lots of moms, and obviously if you have to work during the week (I am going to be honest and say there are plenty of days I wish I had a day job that took me out the house) you probably don’t want to be tied down by naps on the weekend and are more likely to be okay with naps on the go. I’m not this kind of free spirit, and you know what, for this season of my life I am okay with this. I know it’s just a season, and even though I’d love to be less fixated on naps and just go out for the whole day with my kids, as they are both so small, we ALL function better and are happier when they’ve had a good nap.