Our daily routine - a life update on being a stay (& try work from home) mom) to a two year old & a one year old

Aaron Jack has just turned ONE, and I finally feel like I am slowly getting a little more into my groove when it comes to finding a work/life/home balance. I don’t always get this right, and I often feel like I have to decide which balls to drop as I can’t possible manage them all on a day to day basis (sorry to my darling husband, who often feels like it’s him who is dropped more often than not). But man alive this whole parenting thing is hard enough as it is, never mind when there is more than one child and then the next juggle of working from home (or rather when you TRY to work from home). And then us mamas are also supposed to fit in feeding the family, doing housework, giving the hubby the attention and care he deserves AND trying to fit in the elusive ‘‘self-care'“ that we all know is so important, but is generally the last thing on the list and the first to be postponed.

Today I want to share with you my current daily routine, and how I juggle all the balls in my life. This ‘routine’ is constantly changing, and I’ve had to work REALLY hard at being okay with things changing. Especially as what ends up changing things is my kids (ie waking up early from naps, being super clingy all of a sudden, teething, dropping a nap, wanting to do everything ‘by self mom!’ and the normal emotions that come with being a mom. Like some days, you just don’t feel like parenting, and you wish you could just go back to a moment before kids, even if it’s just for 10 seconds, to drink a hot cup of coffee and not be clung to by sticky fingers…I adore my little ones, but feeling like this is SOOOO normal. And, as long as we don’t wish we were back in those days all day every day, I think it’s healthy to have those feelings. Anyway, I’m going off on a tangent now, so let’s get back to the point of this post.

photo by Storm Storah Photography

Here is my current daily routine for me and my family.

For anyone new around these parts, I am married to a dairy farmer and we live on his family dairy farm in a teeny tiny town called Creighton. The closest shops are an hour and a half away. I have two little ones (Everly Rose is 2.5 & Aaron Jack is 1), and we have a wonderful domestic worker who works Monday - Friday. I mention her, because she is essential to my mental and physical well being (because she is as dedicated to maintaining a clean & tidy house as I am) and is also here to lend a hand or two with both kids if I have to meet clients/have Skype meetings. Everly has just started going to play-school (she goes to school for two mornings a week…school is a good 40km ONE WAY and although I’m able to share one of the 4 lifts, I take her and fetch her and this takes up most of those mornings. It’s just not always feasible to take her, drive home, and then go and fetch her again and so I often take her to school and then run errands in the small town where her school is based. I actually often organise tea dates with friends in this time,as this is a wonderful way to get a little ‘me time’ in and make the most of the long drive. I had also only planned to send her to ‘school’ much later on, and to rather focus on more of a home based learning environment, but with another baby and trying to actually build my business, it works so well with her going to school. And she just loves it there.The wheels have yet to fall off in the 5 weeks she’s been going. We do cloth nappies (click here for all of my posts on cloth nappies), have 2 dogs (well, technically 3 as we just got a new puppy), have 2 cats and 6 chickens (this is where we get our eggs from…we eat A LOT of eggs, with both my kids eating two eggs for breakfast every day). We follow a REAL food diet (I used to say we followed a Banting/Low carb High Fat diet but we aren’t that strict anymore, and rather focus on eating real food, nothing processed, no added sugar and because of this I make 99% of my kids food…ie I spend a lot of time in the kitchen…click here for more posts on what my kids eat). I sleep trained both my kids from an early age (and because of this they sleep for a solid 12ish hours a night, and both still take naps…Everly is on the extreme side of the scale when it comes to sleep though, and has always needed lots more sleep than the average, but Aaron, who was much harder work getting into a good routine from 0 - 5 months, has been so much easier since that happened. I breastfed both my kids (and am still breastfeeding Aaron…they both wouldn’t take a bottle, and this is not something I forced because I didn’t need them to, as I was always able to be here at home…the boobs were always available haha and this meant no formula was needed). Gosh this is becoming a bit of an odyssey but bare with me! When I started weaning my kids (Everly at 5.5 months and Aaron at 6 months) they both went straight onto real food (no cereals!). They both only drink water & cows milk (although Everly is now very into Kombucha…a type of fermented tea…full blog post coming on this soon showing you how to make your own!) and we sort of follow a very loose Montessori approach to learning and play. Bedtime in our house is 6pm for the kids, which I know seems unattainable for lots of parents (and obviously won’t work if you are at work during the day and only get home at that time) but this has been key to my own mental wellbeing because I often collapse at 6:05pm and there are evenings where you will find me in bed by 6:30pm. I have been blogging for over 10 years now, and am a self taught photographer & website designer. I started my own online business in 2016, but it’s only really taken off in the last year…with this past month being my busiest month ever. I’m from Joburg, and have been married for nearly 8 years. I studied English Literature & Psychology at Rhodes University (this is where I met my hubby) and we both moved to South Korea to teach English for 4 years before settling back here in SA. I am also a qualified teacher & have a diploma in Online Journalism from the London School of Journalism. I also work for the farm, doing basic admin work as well as the payroll for the staff. We have been living out here on the family farm for nearly 3 years.

Whew! You made it…well done. Go grab yourself a cup of something & catch your breath before continuing with this post.

I say all of the above to help set the scene and knowing the above helps you understand more about my family and the choices we make, and why & how I structure my day. Things don’t always go the way I plan, and some days I just DON’T feel like standing in the kitchen at 10 o’clock at night making yoghurt..but for the most part I know that you have to be prepared if you want to feed your kids good food, and if you want to have a second to breath during the day you have to be strict about routine and be firm with little ones who like to test the limits of your patience. I think it is also VITAL to your marriage to have time together in the evenings, before your both exhausted from the day, to catch up & connect. Although this is something hubby and I need to work on, as I generally just feel like crawling into bed to switch my brain off while mindlessly watching series.

I hope you enjoy this post & that it offers you some inspiration to help make your day run a little smoother.

Photo by Storm Storah Photography

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Here is my week-day schedule:

• 04:30 Hubby goes to work, I snooze till 5am and then go make myself a cup of tea

• 5am-6/6:30am I do client work, check emails, post to Instagram/reply to social media comments

• 06:30ish - 7:30 Both kids wake up, change nappies, get them dressed and play time

• 07:30: Zanele arrives for work (she comes in at 7:15 on the days that Everly goes to school as I have to leave the house at 7:30…she then takes over Aaron and has him until I get back from school at about 12:30.

• 07:30 - 09:00 I make breakfast for the kids, I try and make a big portion of scrambled eggs & bacon so that hubby and I can eat that too…otherwise I generally eat a handful of nuts and lots of cups of tea.

• 09:00 - 10:00 Aaron naps, Everly potters around outside/drawing/playing puzzles (here are some nice activities that encourage independent play). I am generally able to do a little but of non-focused computer work during this time. I often have to wake Aaron up from this nap, and I do this to ensure he still has a good nap over lunch time, which is more important to me as this is when both the kids are down.

• 10:00 - 11:30 Play time with the kids

• 11:30 - 12:00 Lunch time for both Kids

• 12:00 - 14:30 Everly naps (if she’s been at school she will nap at 12:30/12:45 - 14:30. Although often I have to wake her up from the nap.

  12:45 - 14:00/14:30 Aaron naps. This is my sacred time during the day, because both kids are down and I get to rest/watch series/work on client sites.

• 14:30ish both kids wake up, and it’s play time.

• 15:30 is often a time when my kids will have a snack, or if they are super cranky we go for a walk down to the Willow tree with the dogs. We generally spend the afternoon outside in nature (nature for me is anywhere with grass…so even the front lawn is considered nature. I’ll often set up the water table with water and bubbles, or bring out our little blow up pool for the kids to splash around in. If it’s cold, we’ll stay inside and play with blocks or puzzles.

• 17:00 Supper time

• 17:30 Bath time

• 17:45 Aaron has a feed, and straight down to bed.

• 18:00 Everly changes into pj’s and then has quiet time (we have just started this to help prolong her evening…as she still takes a really long nap over lunch time and isn’t ready to drop it yet…haha although I’m sure it’s me who isn’t ready for her to drop it!) it’s not really fair for us to expect her to go to be bed at 6pm. But then it’s story time, prayers, and lights out. I watch her on the monitor and she generally sings, and talks to herself, only passing out around 7/7:30. I’m okay with this, because she’s happy to lie there quietly. It would be a different story if she was really upset and fighting us for that hour, but right now this works because she is quiet and content to lie there until she falls asleep, and this means hubby and I can begin out evening.

• 18:30 Take dogs for a little stroll (this doesn’t happen every day) or this is generally the time that I start making yoghurt/making chicken stock/preparing food in batches for the kids ( I make big batches and freeze portions for every day). I try to also get supper ready for hubby and I for at least 5 out of 7 days of the week. Generally this is meat (chops/boerewors/mince/roast chicken/leftover stew from the kids) and veggies and sometimes a salad if I have the ingredients and feel up to it.

• 19:30 - 21:00 Series

• 21:00 Bedtime (if not earlier)

The only difference over the weekends is Zanele isn’t with us (she goes home on a Friday afternoon) and so on a Saturday 7 Sunday I also feed all the pets (I have some form of help in a very eager & enthusiastic Everly) and collect all the eggs from the chickens. Zanele and I also ‘share’ the washing of the nappies, as I wash every 2 - 3 days, and this often falls over a weekend. I’ve only had her step in to help with the nappies in the past couple of months, as I was so determined to ‘do it all’ but I’ve realised there are certain things that you just have to relinquish control over, and accept the help that’s offered (this is actually one of the biggest motherhood lessons I’ve learned over the past 2 years). On the weekends when hubby is on duty, he is still generally around a bit during the day (depending on how busy the farm is) and so we are often able to at least have breakfast together in the mornings.

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So, as far as a routine goes, the above has only really fallen into place since Aaron dropped down to two naps. Before this, everything was higgledy piggledy and I was often left feeling frazzled because there was never any downtown for me. I wasn’t able to get anything done (work-wise) during the day, I was too exhausted to wake up early (and actually both my kids took turns waking up at about 5 am on and off for a couple of months). This was killer for me, and considering I wasn’t able to get them on the same nap schedule I felt like I was being stretched far beyond my means. Luckily, one realises after the fact, that as with all things, there are seasons to everything, and the tough times don’t last forever…unfortunately this is also true of the easy times too. But up until Aaron was about 5 months old (click here for a post on the very early days of #TwoUnderTwo and click here for one 6 months in), I really didn’t think we would ever get to a point when I enjoyed both my kids every day. Now that he is crawling and pulling himself up on things, he is a different child, and far happier to play by himself (within reason haha and not for very long!) but at least it happens ever now and again.

Some Tips for figuring out your routine

Accept (or be like me and at least ‘try’ to accept) that things change, and that the world won’t end when it does. When one (or both!) of my kids wake up early, my heart sinks. Especially if I’ve just say down to a hot cup of tea. I have to take big deep breaths, to help me ‘release’ the frustration I feel, and I remind myself that they are my babies and they need their mama. This helps a lot. In the early days, I had to often pick which little one to leave to cry during moments of the day, because I only have 2 hands and physically can’t feed a baby, change a nappy & prevent the entire bottle of powder from being shaken all over the carpet. Also accept that there aren’t any more ‘lie ins’ in the morning, unless you wake up at 2am and then have a ‘lie in’ from then till 5am ;) I’ve found the mornings that I don’t get up earlier than my kids, and if they are the ones to wake me up from my sleep…then I am a far grumpier and irritable person than the days I wake up intentionally earlier. Even if it’s just 20 mins earlier to have a cup of tea and let my brain log on for the day.

Decide on your priorities as a Mum and also a person. I decided very early on what my priorities were when it came to my kids. For me, I want them to eat the best food (this means I have to prepare it), I like a clean & tidy house (this means I am always picking up after them even though I have an amazing full time helper…the house is big and two kids make double the work…and for me, I can’t relax or function if things are chaotic. So this is a choice I make, to run around like a madwomen because at least when and if I get that cup of tea, I can enjoy it in a tidy space). I also have to be able to do something for myself, and this is my business. This means I need my kids to be on a schedule that gives me pockets of time to focus on this (ie my kids need to be in bed by 6ish pm and they need to be staying there until at least 6am…#hellosleeptraining which has allowed this to be a reality). My choice to breastfeed as long as I have has also meant I wasn’t really able to be away from Aaron for a good long time. But it wasn’t for that long, and it feels like I’ve blinked and here we are.

It’s either a good morning or a good afternoon. This was a wonderful saying that my friend Sophie told me in the very few weeks. She said she would focus on either having a good morning or a good afternoon, because it very rarely was every a good ‘day’. But, this means if the morning has been a dog show, the afternoon can only get better!

Be intentional with your free moments. Use them to focus on the things that leave you feeling rested/recharged. If this is scrolling through Instagram, that’s fine! If this is taking a quick shower, do it! Find something that’s just for you at least once a day, and be selfish with that time. For me, its the hour or so over lunch when both kids are sleeping. I try not to organise anything over that time, I don’t see friends, I don’t go anywhere, because I need that time to mentally prepare for the rest of the day.

Love on your kids. Kiss them, hug them, hold them, even if you feel like you are about to explode with frustration. I’ve found nothing makes me feel happier than my kids giggling because of something I have done. So in those moments where I feel like I just can’t parent (and there are lots, #justbeingreal) I take a walk outside around the house (because 30 more seconds of crying/winging won’t make a difference), take some deep breaths, and then I grab one (or both!) of my kids for a tight hug, put on some crazy music and we dance. This solves most things. And if that doesn’t work, snacks generally do the trick (always have some biltong on hand for these moments!).

It’s okay to live your life according to a nap schedule. This doesn’t work for lots of moms, and obviously if you have to work during the week (I am going to be honest and say there are plenty of days I wish I had a day job that took me out the house) you probably don’t want to be tied down by naps on the weekend and are more likely to be okay with naps on the go. I’m not this kind of free spirit, and you know what, for this season of my life I am okay with this. I know it’s just a season, and even though I’d love to be less fixated on naps and just go out for the whole day with my kids, as they are both so small, we ALL function better and are happier when they’ve had a good nap.

Photo: Storm Storah Photography

There you have it, a mammoth post on my routine. What’s your routine like? I’d love to hear how you make things work for you and your family, especially if you work from home.

x

Two Under 2 - A life update 6 months in

Whew! We’ve made it to 6 months as a family of four, and I think we all deserve a high five (or rather, Mommy & Daddy deserve a night of uninterrupted sleep, or maybe just a 10 minute lie-in, or wait, maybe just a hot cup of tea, I’d settle for that!). The past 6 months have been crazy, filled with nappies…and more nappies and then a few more nappies on top of that. And even though it feels like the days dragged ooooonnnnn and ooooonnnn this time has really flown past. Everyone said that it would be hard, and to be honest, I didn’t really believe them

Or rather, I didn’t really understand what hard would look like.

My first born, Everly, was (and still is) a unicorn baby…you know the ones that sleep like the book says they should (and then some!) who eat anything and everything, who play independently for hours at a time…the ones you don’t believe really exist. And so I really thought I had it all down pat when it came to having another baby. I just assumed that Everly turned out the was she did because of how we had parented. And while I think part of this is true, a whole lot of it has to do with her being a girl, being our first baby, and of course the things we have no control over, her nature and personality.

Life since Aaron has been hard. It’s been hard for lots of reasons, not just because he has been a colicky baby, but also because of things like the small age gap between him and his sister (17 months) which means effectively I have two babies to care for. Also, with your second baby, you have far less time to sit and coo over them, and I was able to rest more when I had Everly (I spent the first 6 weeks REALLY taking it easy after her birth) and with Aaron, I was basically up and about and picking up a busy toddler after barely a week. It’s also been REALLY hard trying to co-ordinate two little schedules. I am very routine orientated, and somewhere over the past couple of months, Everly has needed to drop from two to one naps (I know, I should be thanking my lucky stars that she has made it this long on two naps) but that transition was quite tricky. Anyway, we made it and she has now settled nicely into her new one nap a day schedule, and thankfully still sleeps through the night (even through Aaron’s bad nights…long may that last!).

I really don’t believe that my little boy is a very difficult baby, he has just been really different to Everly. A big component has been that I actually have forgotten what Everly was like in the early months. But, in saying this, Aaron is a whole lot busier than Everly was, he has already got 2 teeth (and two more are breaking through and he HAS not been a happy chappy for days on end before and after those pearly whites broke through…unlike Evs who only got her first tooth at nearly 8 months and ever since then barely makes a peep when they do) and from what I can tell from my friend’s with boy babies, he is a typical boy. He just wants to be close to his mommy, and he likes intense one on one interaction about 90% of the time. It’s not always easy for me to mentally sit down on the floor and play with him, when I feel torn between work on my computer and then the things that I love doing (photography, blogging and sharing our behind the scenes farm life on Instagram…but gosh writing that out here really does sound terrible…I’m basically saying playing with and talking to my baby is taking me away from doing the things I love doing…and that pretty much sums up parenthood haha). But I do think all of these thoughts are normal (please tell me I’m not alone!) and while the first 4 months for us were the hardest, the last 6 weeks have had way more happy & sunnier days.

Aaron is giggling and laughing, and developing his own sense of humor (typical boy style, the fist full on laugh was over ‘fart’ noises) and he LOVES being thrown up into the air. He is getting really good at sitting, and his slow-to-smile nature means that every smile you do get hits you with ALL THE FEELS.

Here is our new #TwoUnderTwo schedule, for anyone who might like to know how we (try!) to do things most days:

• 06:30 - 7am both kiddos wake up (generally at the same time, which is chaos, but some days Evs wakes up before Aaron and then I get to spend a bit of quality time with just her while I get her changed for the day). I feed Aaron & change his nappy, and then pop some music on for him while I change Evs nappy and get her dressed.

• 8am Everly has breakfast while Aaron sits in his bouncy chair (he gives me about 10 - 15 mins before he starts getting bored).

• 08:30 - 10am Aaron has his nap. Everly and I go an play in the garden, read books, potter around the house.

• 10:00 Aaron wakes up, I feed him, change his nappy and then geenrally pop him in the pram and take him and Everly for a walk.

• 10:45 Everly has a filling snack (usually homemade yoghurt with nut butter/blueberries)

• 11:00 - 13:00/14:00 Everly has her nap (which can be anywhere from 2 - 3 hours long).

• 11:00 Aaron has his solids (we just started about a week ago)

• 11:30 Aaron goes down for his nap, which can be anywhere from 1 - 2 hours long.

  From 11:30 - 13:00 is generally when I get to have my only break from both kiddos. I don’t usually get longer than 45 mins, but there have been a few days when I’ve had 2 hours to myself. It’s wonderful! But it did take 6 months to get here, as usually Aaron would wake up as I was putting Everly down, or vice versa.

• 13:00/14:00 Everly has lunch when she wakes up from her nap, and then the three of us play together until Aaron’s next nap.

• 15:00/16:00 Aaron will have some sort of nap at this time, some days he has a short 30 minute nap, other day an hour. Other days, my wonderful Nanny will put him on her back while she does the ironing and I’ll take Everly out into the garden to play.

• 17:00 Everly has supper

• 17:30 I start running the bath, getting the kids pj’s and nappies laid out (this may sound strange, but as we use cloth nappies, the night time nappy is always a bigger one that has lots of layers, and so I go and fold them/get them ready.

• 18:00 Bath time. I bath Everly while hubby get’s Aaron undressed and baths him. Then I take Aaron to his room to change and feed him, and then pop him down for the night. Everly gets changed and has story time and what she calls ‘talk time….soooo cute’ with Daddy, and I usually get to pop my head in to say goodnight.

• 3:00-4:00am Aaron wakes up for a feed, and then goes right back to sleep till the morning.

It’s taken us a while to get to this point, and I’m so proud of my family! We had about a month recently of Aaron waking up multiple times a night, me feeding him often, us leaving him to cry and eventually settle himself to sleep (again, this has only been doable because Everly sleeps through the noise) and just general rough nights, but with lots of perseverance and consistency, we are back to a good nighttime routine again. I have no doubt this is going to change again, and I’m okay with that, because I know we will get back to our ‘normal’ again.

In other news, I’ve been quite busy again lately with branding shoots & website design, which always pulls me in two directions. I also am in charge of our farm’s BEE certification, and we have our audit coming up in the next 2 weeks which has been crazy stressful, and really, really, really hard to juggle with two little ones. It’s the kind of work that needs uninterrupted focus time (haha yes I hear the moms in the back laughing along with me at the though of uninterrupted focus time when you have kids) but I’m getting there, and once this audit is done, hopefully it will be a while until I need to work on it again.

So all in all, we are getting into our groove and the latest fun milestone has been giving Aaron solids and starting his weaning journey. I’ll be doing more blog posts on that soon, but if you’ve got a little one and will be starting solids with them soon, here are all my blog posts on what we did with Everly:

Some goals we have now for our little family are to go on a hike, and when the weather warms up, to go camping. Are we crazy or is it doable? Do you have any tips for doing any of the above with two little ones? I’d love to hear from you!

Two Under 2 - an update on life 10 weeks in

Goodness me the past 10 weeks (technically 12 weeks by the time I have been able to publish this blogpost) have flown by in a hazzy blur. I’m writing this post so I can (hopefully) look back on these days and remember them if there is a third little one in the future. I”m also hoping this post enourages/inspires other moms and dads out there, and helps them in their own parenting journey.

I’m not really sure where to start, or whether what I’m going to share is even going to make sense and not seem like the jumbled thoughts of a half crazed person, but life with two under two is no joke. I don’t think anything can quite prepare you for a second child, just the same as nothing can really prepare you for having your first baby (although friends with 3 kids have said the jump from 2 to 3 is nowhere near as hectic as the jump from 1 2 kids).

As this is a rather long post, I say grab yourself a hot cup of tea or coffee (something I haven’t had in 12 weeks!) and get comfy…

The hardest part of it all so far for me? My expectations of just about everything, from how much I expect Aaron to sleep, to how much I expect to be able to get done in the day.

Everly was a very easy and content little baba. She has always been a really great sleeper, and everyone told me that I just got lucky with her and that I wouldn’t be so lucky the second time around. Because of this (and my rather defiant nature!) I have been determined to prove them wrong…enter my unfair expectations and hence the frustration I have felt towards my little boy more often than I would like to admit. While he is definitely very different to Everly, I think rather than say he isn’t as good a sleeper as she was, I think the actual difference is that I am forgetting all the hard moments with Evs, and comparing Aaron to a very chilled 20 month old toddler who is firmly in her routine when it comes to naps. Also, when you have your first baby, you are able to give them 100% of your time and attention, especially if you are a stay at home mom, or if you work from home (although the fact that I work from home puts another spanner in the works as it’s one more thing to add to the expectation list). I wish I had been more thorough with Everly’s baby book and documented more than I did (although I’m so glad I did actually have a book and that I wrote the few things/memories down that I did…I wish I had noted more often what her routine was like, how much she slept and how often she fed etc) so that I have something to work from when going through the weeks & months with the next baby.

I’m pretty sure that Everly was napping (or rather NOT napping) for that long during the day at this age. I know she went through a patch of cat napping at around the 3/4month mark, but she did settle back into 2 long sleeps if 2-3 hours and one shorter one in the afternoon by the end of 4 months (I think!). I’m hoping I can get Aaron to link his day time naps soon, because those 45minutes that he does sleep fly by in the blink of an eye when you’ve got another one to look after.

And the next hardest part, trying to figure out a routine for two babies.

I still see Everly as a baby, even though she is technically a toddler. She’s still in nappies (although I’m pretty sure she will be out of them soon as she’s super aware and let’s me know whenever she is making a poo) but she also isn’t that confident of a walker yet (considering she has only actually been walking for 3 months). Thank goodness she is a very independent little thing and has always been very happy to read her books, toddle around and amuse herself. She has taken to the new addition very well, and has not been extra clingy or demanding of my attention. I was worried she would act up when she saw me feeding Aaron, and I had prepared for this with whole basket of new toys for her…but she surprised us all and has just gone about her life as though nothing has changed. I’ve been able to bring out these new toys for her and I to play with when we get a few moments alone together. And while she happily coos over him and talks about her ‘Arrow’, she has handled the disruption to her life (and most importantly) his, what seems like pretty much constant crying, far better than both Farmboy and myself.

Aaron had a very sore tummy from about weeks 5 - 8, and was very unsettled. He just wanted to be held, and he would scrunch up his legs, farting like a trooper, and just generally be very niggly most of the day. I tried just about every colic mixture or tonic I could find, and even though I found Bonnisan to help the most, I genuinely think the only think that cures that unsettledness is time. You WILL eventually get there, and their little tummies will eventually adjust to life outside the womb, but gosh when you’re in the trenches it really feels like it’s never going to end. My best advice is to find another mommy with a little one a similar age to yours so you can vent & encourage one another when the going gets tough.

What is hard when you are at home all day with your little ones, you really only have 2 hands, both of which are generally needed to take care of one baby. This means you often have to make a choice as to who should be left to cry/winge…and in our house it’s mostly been Aaron who is left to fend for himself as his needs are more simpler to meet. I know that if he has been fed, burped and changed, there really isn’t much more I can do for him if he is crying and I need to feed/help Everly with something. We have left him to cry for longer, and more often than I care to admit, especially over the last couple of weeks as he has really been fighting me at nap time, and I’m lucky if he stretches more than 30 minutes at a time. This really throws me as I am a BIG lover of routine, and right now he has little to no routine. He is also at that awkward stage where he isn’t strong enough to sit or hold his head up, but doesn’t want to just lie in my arms and snuggle. I remember Everly being at the same stage, where she wasn’t really old enough to engage much, but also wasn’t young enough to just be left to stare at a mirror for 15 minutes. We do have a full time nanny who is wonderful, and while her responsibilities mostly revolve around housework, she is amazing with Everly, and Aaron has spent many a happy hour on her back (this is where he sleeps the longest…much to my dismay…I do so vividly remember saying I would never have him carried around by someone and that he would just have to adjust to sleeping properly in his cot…how I have now changed my tune). BUT, even though we are having to work SO hard on his day time naps, he sleeps so well at night that I don’t know if I am allowed to complain about the day. He has been feeding once at night for the past 2 weeks or so, and this feed is usually between 3 & 4am. He then goes right back to sleep till the morning. We generally have to go in once or twice to give him his dummy, but I’ve found if I leave him for 5 minutes, he generally puts himself right back to sleep. So all in all, a baby that sleeps 6 - 3/4am and then until around 6 am must be a happy one? So then what’s up with the day time my boy?!

While I love and use my Ubuntu Baba carrier pretty much every day, what I can’t really do with it is sit down, and I don’t really like standing at a table when I am working on my computer. This is why I am so determined to get Aaron into a good routine for his naps, and have him nap as much as possible in his cot, rather than on me/in a carrier. It’s far less a case of not wanting to create bad sleeping habits, and more a case of me wanting to be able to actually have a bit of time without a baby strapped to me so I can sit down to my computer work (haha perhaps this is more of a dream right now than a reality) or be able to pick Everly up/play with her/wash my cloth nappies etc. But, for those times when he is just SO unhappy and refuses to nap in his bed, my Ubuntu Baba carrier is an absolute life saver, and has enabled me to multi task like nobody’s business…I have successfully breastfeed Aaron, made supper and been able to feed Everly her dinner, all at the same time. I may have collapsed in a head shortly afterwards, but we all survived and I only have the Ubuntu Baba to thank. On that note, make sure you’re following me on Instagram as I will be running an awesome giveaway in collaboration with Ubuntu Babe next month.

This is our routine at the moment…it’s mostly Everly’s routine as Aaron is pretty much unpredictable right now. I also haven’t figured out whether I want to have them both awake/sleeping at the same time so I get a proper break, or whether I actually enjoy being able to spend one-on-one time with each of them while the other one is napping. I also know first hand that just as soon as you think you’ve got things figured out, they go and change things up by learning a new skill, cutting teeth, reacting to vaccinations etc but it makes me feel better to have some sort of loose plan that I’d like them to be on.

Right now, this is what our routine looks like:

• 6-7am Wake up (They have both been waking up closer to 7am the past week but it can be anytime from 6 on the dot to 7…I leave Everly in her room to chat/read her books till as close to 7 as possible, but Aaron I go in right away as his cry has a way of eating into your very soul). Generally I’ve been able to feed and change Aaron by the time Evs is awake, so then I will go into her room, give her her milk while I change her nappy, and then she comes with me to Aaron’s room where they both have some play time.

• 8am Aaron’s nap time & Everly has breakfast. Aaron seems to only be able to be awake for about 45mins at this time, and it works well because I can pop him down and then make Everly’s breakfast. He then sleeps anywhere from 45 mins - 2 hours. Although it’s been far more often the 45 minute sort of nap, unless he is tied to Amahle’s back. I give Everly her breakfast and then we go outside for a walk to see the cows, go and feed the chickens or do some gardening together.

• 9am/9:30 Everly’s Nap time. Aaron is generally awake around this time and so I then feed and change him, and then we play together until he starts yawning (ideally around 10ish) and then I pop him down for a nap.

• 11h30ish Everly wakes up from her nap. I change her nappy and then she potters around the house until lunch time.

• 12 o’clock lunch time for Everly. Aaron may or may not be napping at this time, but if he is awake I’ll either put him in his baby chair and he watches us have lunch, or I’ll have him in the carrier so I can sort Everly out. Once she’s had her lunch she then has play time.

• 2pm - 3pm Everly has another nap/rest time. She isn’t quite ready to drop this nap yet, but doesn’t always actually sleep. I don’t actually mind what she does during this time, but it’s a quiet rime in the house as this seems to be pretty much the only time of the day when their sleeping has coincided. I change her nappy and pop her down on her bed with the curtains drawn, and she either has a small nap, or quietly reads her books/plays with her toys. She still does the odd 2 - 3:30/4pm nap, it all depends on how long her morning nap has been. She has also been generally quite cheerful on the days when she’s missed the nap/quiet time altogether, so perhaps it’s actually me who isn’t ready for her to drop that nap haha. Either way, when she does drop this nap I still plan on making this quiet time where she will be closed in her room to rest. She seems to enjoy this time, and very rarely fights me on it these days. She has gone through patches of being in there for up to two hours, in the dark, singing and playing her xylophone…funny thing. But like I said, as long as she isn’t crying and actually upset, I don’t mind what she does in there during that time.

• 3-5pm is general chaos. Usually Aaron is having a nap at some point, and Everly is happy to entertain herself to a point. But usually by 4pm I’ve got both kids outside for a walk/play in the garden, with Aaron in the carrier, and I’m silently counting down the minutes until bed time.

• 5pm supper time for Everly. Aaron is either being held by Dad if Dad is home at this time, or he is still in the carrier, having a little snooze while I buzz about the kitchen getting supper on the go and giving Everly her dinner. I also get both kids pyjamas and nappies ready, as well as their towels and Everly’s milk all laid out for after their bath. I also try to feed Aaron before bath time, no matter how soon before his last feed this ends up being. I want him to have a nice full tummy for the night ahead. Now that it’s winter, this is also usually when Farmboy will light a fire, something that is always a huge delight for Everly.

• 6pm bath time for both kids. We have gotten into a nice routine with both babes…I run the bath and then wash Evs and brush her teeth, and spend some quality time with her before hubby undresses Aaron and brings him into the bath where both kids have some fun splash time. I then take Aaron to his room for a nice massage, dress him and then he has a nice long feed. Then it’s a quick burp while I turn off the lights and hum our bedtime song, then a kiss and a cuddle before swaddling him, popping in his dummy and putting him down on our Nurture One Pillow. Hubby brings Everly into Aaron’s room to say goodnight to both of us, and then takes her to her room to get dressed and then she drinks her cup of milk and it’s story time and then straight to bed. Both little ones are down by 6:30pm and we collapse in a heap!

  While Everly sleeps right through, I generally am up feeding Aaron some time between 3 & 4am and then whew…the whole day starts again.

It took a while to get the above routine down, and as much as possible we try to keep it the same even when we go away. Obviously there are times when Everly has nap later than she’d like/miss a nap altogether especially when we are out and about, but I find the routine is as much for the kids as it is for us parents. Aaron pretty much goes along with the flow right now, and as much as I would like to get his routine waxed, only time will tell whether this is even remotely possible with two kids. On that note, please share your routines with me if you have more than 1 babe and how you make it all work! I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

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Something I have been asked a lot is how I ‘manage to do so much’ with having two kids. As luck/Murphy’s Law would have it, I have only recently (literally from the last few weeks before Aaron was born) started booking clients for the web design service I offer. I wouldn’t advise offering a new service to clients when you’ve just had a new baby because you will be torn between needing to care for your little one and having to meet deadlines for clients. Having lots of work has really wonderful, in terms of the extra income. I can now justify all the extra cloth nappy purchases I’ve been making (#jokingbutnotreallyjoking).

BUT, because I feel like a lot of you follow me on Instagram and may think I’m some sort of superwomen being able to juggle two kids and work at the same time, I want to say that my Instagram (along with just about every other person I know) is a highlight reel. I share the beautiful and the happy moments on it, and choose not to showcase the hard times (I use my Instagram stories for this because, yes, there are LOADS of hard times and LOADS of moments where I feel like I’m not going to get through the day and LOADS of tears and frustration). But, those moments pass, even when you feel like they won’t, and everything has a season. I’d say right now we are in the middle of a pretty tough season, but I know that we’ll get through it, and that I’ll probably forget just how hard it was. Choosing to share the good and the beautiful is a choice I make, and have always made with this blog and all of my social media accounts. And I hope this is why you follow along, and that the things I share make you smile.

So how do I manage to ‘get so much done’ you may ask? I try to stay very organised. This means I meal prep Everly’s food (so that all that is required for most of her meals is to take something out the freezer the day before). Because we choose to feed her real food (click here to read more about Everly’s way of eating) having her meals prepped before hand takes a lot of stress out of my day. I also make sure to try and make a batch of yoghurt every 2 weeks or so, so even if I run out of snacks, I know I can always rely on keeping her tummy nice and full with homemade yoghurt which she loves. I also believe that you have to prioritise your day, and that a happy mommy is a good mommy. I like being busy, and I enjoy the feeling of being super productive, and so I generally have a million and one things on the go. I love blogging, designing websites & photographing my kids and our lives, and so I make sure to carve out time (even if it’s 10 minutes here and there) to do those things that make me happy. I’ve also finally accepted there is no such thing as a lie in anymore (or any semblance of an afternoon nap), and I try to get up before the kids so I can at least drink a hot cup of coffee and get dressed before the chaos of the day starts. I don’t always get it right, and quite often Farmboy will pop in during the day and find me looking like a complete wreck, with one kid winging at my feet and the other screaming in my arms, but all make it to the end of the day in one peace, fed and relatively happy.

Some pearls of wisdom from my dear friend Sophie: “Aim for a good morning or a good afternoon, it’s very hard to achieve both and this way if it’s been a bad start to the day, you know things can only get better! It’s also much easier to focus on a few hours at a time, a whole day can seem daunting”

Also…celebrate the small wins with chocolate and the hard times with strong coffee! I don’t believe that food plays much of a role in affecting baby through your breastmilk, and I would much rather have the ‘fuel’ of a strong cup of coffee to keep me going through the hard moments, than be left feeling hard done by and then try to function to the best of my abilities…but that’s just my two cents.

Farmboy is still a farmboy, working hard all day. I often feel like we are ships passing in the night as he is up at 4:30 to go to work when I’m just crawling back into bed after feeding Aaron. Our marriage is strong though, and although we do fight and get frustrated with one another when our expectations aren’t being met (man oh man I believe expectations are the underlying cause of pretty much all fights between couples), we love each other and I would not be able to be the mother I am without him by my side. We do need to work on carving out more moments in the day/week for us to catch up and connect on a deeper level, so if you have any tips on this and how you navigate keeping your marriage strong when there are lots of little ones taking up all your time and energy, I’d love to hear from you too!

So there you have it, a little update on the past 3 months of being a family of 4. I feel like we are slowly emerging from the haze of the past 12 weeks, and I’m looking forward to the chaos (ahem, I mean, fun) that lie ahead in the months to come.

x

Someone's going to be a big sister! Baby#2 Arriving February 2019

I am officially 14 weeks pregnant with Everly's little brother/sister, and thought it high time I start documenting this pregnancy before it's all over. Gosh it's VERY different with a second pregnancy, and I am determined to not let time slip by without at least attempting to do everything I did while pregnant with Everly. I'm pretty sure this is not going to be easy, as life with an-almost-toddler is pretty crazy, and some days I feel as though all I've accomplished is keeping my child fed and watered...like a good plant haha. But even if that's all I have been able to do, I still give myself a pat on the back, because let's face it fellow moms...no one else is going to!

So, let me start at the very beginning.

I had an inkling that I was pregnant about 10 weeks ago (just like I did with Everly...click here to read more about the start of that pregnancy). Again, just the same as what happened with Evs, I took pregnancy test after pregnancy test, because I just 'had a feeling' and all 5 of them came back negative. Then I waited a few more days, took one last one (well, I actually did another 3 after this next one came back positive) and there was no denying the double line. This was just before the Creighton Aloe Festival, where I was going to be setting up and selling Gin cocktails...needless to say I was unable to actually sample any of my exciting homemade cordial concoctions and had to rely on the repeat customers and cheesy gin smiles as the day progressed to know that they were indeed good!

My mom came to visit from Joburg, mainly to babysit Everly while Farmboy and I worked our little bums off day and night at the Aloe Festival...me doing Gin and setting up the stalls etc and Farmboy who worked many a late night smoking enough pulled pork to feed 1000 people! My mom arrived armed with a ClearBlue Week Calculator pregnancy test and, thank goodness no morning sickness had hit me yet, as I was surrounded by meaty smells and alcohol! The test maxes out at 3-5 weeks so I knew that, 1. I was definitely pregnant, and 2. that I was about 3 -5 weeks pregnant. 

I decided pretty early on that I wasn't going to go for as many scans as my first pregnancy, and only popped into a GP with a very old scan machine to do a very basic check up. She struggled to find baby, and eventually found a little blob and a which was a bit of a dissapointment to be honest. She thought I was actually not as far along as I had thought, but still, it was nice to get a visual confirmation and see the strong and healthy heartbeat.

From about weeks 6 - 10 I had terrible morning sickness, something I didn't have at all with Everly (could this be a sign that this little bundle is a boy???) and I've also had all the same symptoms as before...spots on my back, dry and cracked heels, having to go to the bathroom CONSTANTLY, and feeling incredibly tired around weeks 6 - 8. My tummy also POPPED around week 10. I have done very little exercise (I'm going to blame those weeks of nausea but in reality, now that i feel back to my old self, I've just been plain old lazy). I am determined to get back to Pilates, and keep up with walks around the farm. I have also not been very good about drinking water, and have been AWFUL with snacks and junk food (again, I want to blame those weeks of nausea but in reality I know I've just been lazy to cook healthy meals) but I am suffering because of it and it's not fair on the little growing life inside of me. As of tomorrow it's back to low carb/Banting (mostly) and no more sugary drinks!

This week I went along to a Gynae for my first official scan and check up. Baby is doing well and was so lively on the scan, waving his/her hands about and kicking up a storm. She estimated my delivery date to be the 22nd February, but if I end up having a cesar (I am hoping to be able to make my VBAC *vaginal birth after cesarian* dreams come true as I ended up having an emergency cesar with Everly, after a VERY long 40 hours of labor...blog post to come on my birth story soon) then baby will be here around the 8th Feb. I went into labor at 37+6 days and Everly was born exactly on the 38th week. So, this new little one may also arrive early.

Finding out that I was indeed pregnant, was a HUGE shock for both Farmboy and myself. While we both wanted more kids (and the fact that I wasn't on any form of contraceptive....mostly because I didn't want to put my body through any more doses of hormones after being on the Pill for 15 years before Everly). It's just that we hadn't planned for their to be such a short gap in-between our little ones, or that I would fall pregnant so quickly. I am in no ways complaining, it's a 'hashtag' blessing (sorry, I couldn't hep myself with that '#' considering how it gets bandied about these days) to be able to fall pregnant without any complications and I am in awe of what a woman's body is able do...carry and grow a life...but at the same time, I was filled with so many mixed emotions. Just before I found out I was pregnant, I was feeling fantastic, I was back down to my pre-pregnancy weight (and then some!) and was just feeling so healthy! I was just getting used to my body again, feeling strong. This definitely contributed to the feelings of shock.

Another reason for the shocked emotions was because up until that time I was still breastfeeding Everly, like, a lot! I was feeding her 4-5 times a day, and while I have always known that breastfeeding is definitely not a hard and fast form of contraception, it is more on the unusual side to fall pregnant when feeding so frequently. I only had one period (when Everly was about 7/8 months old) and then I guess the next month I fell pregnant. I think around the 7 month mark I had dropped her night/early morning feed and so my body must have started getting ready to make more babies. In case you're still wondering, I am still breastfeeding Everly, but am slowly weaning. She has had absolutely no issue with dropping feeds so far (since a week ago I now only feed her twice a day, when she wakes up in the morning, and when she goes to bed at night). I had initially planned to breastfeed until a year (she will be a year in just under 2 weeks time!!!) but I've loved our journey so far (click here to read our breastfeeding story), and if I wasn't currently pregnant, I would probably carry on until she decided she had had enough. I still seem to have enough milk for her, but she eats her solids really well and has even continued to sleep through on the od occasion I haven't been around to feed her at bedtime, so I know she probably isn't needing the feeds much anymore. I know that its going to be a very bittersweet moment when I give her her last feed, but at the same time, I would like a few months of my boobs back before the next little one is here and I am back to being the in-house dairy cow :)

I also had a lot of up and downs in the very beginning, mostly because I felt like 'I already have a baby' and Everly really was just a baby at that time. And she is still pretty much going to be a baby (in my eyes at least) when her little sibling is born. But I am encouraged by all the moms I know who take the small age gap in their stride. And it's happening either way, whether I am mentally prepared or not! I'm just going to have to roll with the punches, I mean nappies (because boy oh boy are there going to be a lot of them! Although we are hoping Everly will have started potty training by them...she has been in cloth nappies since the very beginning and from what I have read, it seems cloth nappies really help with potty training...we will have to wait and see!).

You can read more about my first pregnancy, as well as all my pregnancy posts by scrolling through the images below (just click and you will be taken to the full post). I'm hoping to make some more videos like I did for my first pregnancy, so please do keep me accountable for those!

As always, thanks for following along.

x